Me and My Boss

When I Take a long time to finish, I am slow,
When my boss takes a long time, he is thorough

When I don't do it, I am lazy,
When my boss does not do it, he is busy,

When I do something without being told, I am trying to be smart,
When my boss does the same, he takes the initiative,

When I please my boss, I am apple polishing,
When my boss pleases his boss, he is cooperating,

When I make a mistake, I' am an idiot.
When my boss makes a mistake, he's only human.

When I am out of the office, I am wondering around.
When my boss is out of the office, he's on business.

When I am on a day off sick, I am always sick.
When my boss is a day off sick, he must be very ill.

When I apply for leave, I must be going for an interview
When my boss applies for leave, it's because he's overworked

When I do good, my boss never remembers,
When I do wrong, he never forgets

Chinese Names - Annie Wan (Anyone)

Caller: Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan? (Anyone)

Operator: Yes, you can speak to me.

Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan!

Operator: You are talking to someone! Who is this?

Caller: I'm Sam Wan (someone) and I need to talk to Annie Wan! It's urgent.

Operator: I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what's
this urgent matter about?

Caller: Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother Noel Wan (no one) was involved in an accident. Noel Wan got injured and now Noel Wan is being
sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan is on his way to the hospital.

Operator: Look if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't
have time for this!

Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?

Operator: I'm Saw Lee. (Sorry)

Caller: Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!!

What is a PERFECT wife?

A perfect wife is someone who doesn't need anyone to make her happy, but needs you to make her feel complete.

Cakes for divorce?

You're Always by my side

A very 'touching' story titled...."You're Always By My Side"

A man was walking across the road when he met with an accident. The impact was on his head which caused him to be in a coma for 2 days. When he opened his eyes, his wife was by his side.

He told her (in tears), "When I was struggling with my studies in the University, I failed again and again. Sometimes I even have to re-take my papers. You were there by my side, encouraging me to go on trying."

She squeezed his hands as he continued, "When I went for major interviews and failed to clinch any of the jobs, you were there, cutting out the job ads for me to apply..."

He added, " ...then I started working in this little firm and finally got a big contract. I blew it because of a small mistake. But you are still there for me." His wife was in tears.

The man said, "I finally got a job after being laid off for quite some time. But I never seem to be promoted and my hard work was not recognised.

I remained in the same position from the day I joined the company till now. You are still beside me..."

His wife's tears trickled down as she listened to him, "And now I met with an accident and when I woke up, you are here with me. There's something I'll really like to say to you..." She flung herself on the bed and hug her husband, sobbing with deep emotion.

Finally her husband said: "I think you bring me bad luck."

Made in Malaysia

Only Malaysian will laugh on this!!

PLUS : Pay Lebih Untuk Sami (=Pay more for Mr.Sami)

KTM : Keretapi Taktau Masa (=Train without schedule)

JKR : Jangan Kerja Rajin (=Don't work hard)

PLKN : Perempuan Letup Kerana Najib (=Woman bombed due to Najib)

DBKL : Datuk Badawi Kahwin Lagi (=Datuk Badawi marry again)

RTM : Rehat Tunggu Mati (=Rest Until Die)

BN : Barang Naik (=Product Price Hike)

TNB : Tunggu, Nanti Buat (=Wait, do later)

MEN NEVER LISTEN, DO THEY?

He did what he needed to, and as he sat there he noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch. Each button was identified by letters: WW, WA, PP, and a red one labeled ATR. Who would know if he touched them? He couldn't resist. He pushed WW. Warm Water was sprayed gently upon his bottom. What a nice feeling, he thought. Men's restrooms don't have nice things like this.

Anticipating greater pleasure, he pushed the WA button. Warm air replaced the warm water, gently drying his underside. When this stopped, he pushed the PP button. A large powder puff caressed his bottom adding a fragile scent of spring flower to this unbelievable pleasure. The ladies restroom was more than a restroom, it is tender loving pleasure.

When the powder puff completed its pleasure, he couldn't wait to push the ATR button which he knew would be supreme ecstasy. He was immediately knocked out by an excruciating pain.

Next thing he knew he opened his eyes, he was in a hospital bed, and a nurse was staring down at him. "What happened?" he exclaimed. "The last thing I remember was pushing the ATR button."

"The button ATR is an Automatic Tampon Remover. Your testicles are now in this jar, sir."