There is a very , very tall coconut tree, and there are 4 animals:
King Kong, Ape, Orangutang and a Monkey pass by.
They have a competition to see Who is the fastest to get the banana. Who
do you guess will win?
Your answer will reflect your personality. Try and answer within 30
seconds
Got your answer? Scroll down to see the analysis.
If your answer is ....
Orangutan = dull
Ape = foolish
Monkey = idiot
King Kong = stupid
Why ?????
Coconut tree, doesn't have bananas .........??
It's obvious you're stressed by your work. Go home earlier today!
Friday, February 29, 2008
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
30 ways to know if u're a Chinese
This is a good one....although i must say "SOME" are not true....but 95% of them are.
Enjoy!
1. You unwrap gifts very carefully, so you can save and reuse the wrapping (and especially those ribbons)
2. When there is a sale on toilet paper, you buy 100 rolls and store them in your closet or in the bedroom of an adult child who has move out.
3. You keep a Thermos of hot water available at all times.
4. You save grocery bags, tin foil, and tin containers. You use the grocery bags to hold garbage.
5. You hate to waste food. Even if you're totally full, if someone says they're going to throw away the leftovers on the table, you'll finish them. (Your mom will lecture about starving kids in Africa). You have Tupperware in your fridge with three bites of rice or one leftover chicken wing.
6. You don't own any real Tupperware-only a cupboard full of used but carefully rinsed margarine tubs, take out containers, and jam jars.
7. You have a collection of miniature shampoo bottles that you take every time you stay in a hotel.
8. You wipe your plate and utensils or wash them in a small basin of hot water before you eat every time you go to a restaurant.
9. You own a rice cooker and a slow cooker.
10. You wash your rice at least 2-3 times before cooking it.
11. You fight (literally) over who pays the dinner bill.
12. You have a teacup with a cover on it.
13. If you're under age 20, you own a really expensive walkman/discman, if you're over 20, you own a really expensive camera.
14. You're a wok user.
15. You only make long distance calls after 7pm.
16. You prefer your shrimp with the heads and legs still attached – it means they're fresh.
17. You never call your parents just to say hi.
18. If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they'll ask if you've eaten, even if it's midnight.
19. Your parents tell you to boil herbs and stay inside when you get sick.
They also tell you not to eat fried foods or baked foods because they're heaty (yeet hay in Cantonese).
20. You e-mail your Chinese friends at work, even though you only sit 10 feet apart.
21. You always cook too much.
22. You eat every last grain of rice in your bowl, but don't eat the last piece of food on the table.
23. You starve yourself before going to all you can eat buffet.
24. You know someone who can get you a good deal on jewellery or electronics, computers.
25. You own your own meat cleaver and sharpen it.
26. Your toothpaste tubes are all squeezed paper-thin.
27. You wrap with napkins all the knives, spoons and forks of the airline that you fly on and put in your travel bag as souvenirs
28. You never forget to take with you all the unused bath and facial tissues when you check out from the hotel because you believe that you have paid its all.
29. You will laugh at yourself when you read all of them
30. And you will always proud because you're Chinese!
True? Haha...
Enjoy!
1. You unwrap gifts very carefully, so you can save and reuse the wrapping (and especially those ribbons)
2. When there is a sale on toilet paper, you buy 100 rolls and store them in your closet or in the bedroom of an adult child who has move out.
3. You keep a Thermos of hot water available at all times.
4. You save grocery bags, tin foil, and tin containers. You use the grocery bags to hold garbage.
5. You hate to waste food. Even if you're totally full, if someone says they're going to throw away the leftovers on the table, you'll finish them. (Your mom will lecture about starving kids in Africa). You have Tupperware in your fridge with three bites of rice or one leftover chicken wing.
6. You don't own any real Tupperware-only a cupboard full of used but carefully rinsed margarine tubs, take out containers, and jam jars.
7. You have a collection of miniature shampoo bottles that you take every time you stay in a hotel.
8. You wipe your plate and utensils or wash them in a small basin of hot water before you eat every time you go to a restaurant.
9. You own a rice cooker and a slow cooker.
10. You wash your rice at least 2-3 times before cooking it.
11. You fight (literally) over who pays the dinner bill.
12. You have a teacup with a cover on it.
13. If you're under age 20, you own a really expensive walkman/discman, if you're over 20, you own a really expensive camera.
14. You're a wok user.
15. You only make long distance calls after 7pm.
16. You prefer your shrimp with the heads and legs still attached – it means they're fresh.
17. You never call your parents just to say hi.
18. If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they'll ask if you've eaten, even if it's midnight.
19. Your parents tell you to boil herbs and stay inside when you get sick.
They also tell you not to eat fried foods or baked foods because they're heaty (yeet hay in Cantonese).
20. You e-mail your Chinese friends at work, even though you only sit 10 feet apart.
21. You always cook too much.
22. You eat every last grain of rice in your bowl, but don't eat the last piece of food on the table.
23. You starve yourself before going to all you can eat buffet.
24. You know someone who can get you a good deal on jewellery or electronics, computers.
25. You own your own meat cleaver and sharpen it.
26. Your toothpaste tubes are all squeezed paper-thin.
27. You wrap with napkins all the knives, spoons and forks of the airline that you fly on and put in your travel bag as souvenirs
28. You never forget to take with you all the unused bath and facial tissues when you check out from the hotel because you believe that you have paid its all.
29. You will laugh at yourself when you read all of them
30. And you will always proud because you're Chinese!
True? Haha...
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Jokes: 911
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.
Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why?
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller: Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich .
Dispatcher: Excuse me?
Caller: I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it.
Dispatcher: Was anything else taken?
Caller: No, but this has happened to me before and I'm sick and tired of it!
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?
Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it.
Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one
Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.
Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of your emergency?
Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart
Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!
Dispatcher: 9-1-1
Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath. Darn....I think I'm going to pass out.
Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster.
Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
Caller: No
Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?
Caller: Running from the Police.
Jokes: Never go to HR department for help!!
HAHAHA......please read this, really funny!
After 2 years of selfless service, a man realized that he has not been
promoted, no transfer, no salary increase no commendation and that the
Company is not doing any thing about it. So he decided to walk up to his HR
Manager one morning and after exchanging greetings, he told his HR Manager
his observation.The boss looked at him, laughed and asked him to sit down
saying;
My friend, you have not worked here for even one day.
The man was surprised to hear this, but the manager went on to explain.
Manager:- How many days are there in a year?
Man:- 365 days and some times 366
Manager:- how many hours make up a day?
Man:- 24 hours
Manager:- How long do you work in a day?
Man:- 8am to 4pm. i.e. 8 hours a day.
Manager:- So , what fraction of the day do you work in hours?
Man:- (He did some arithmetic and said 8/24 hours i.e. 1/3(one third)
Manager:- That is nice of you! What is one-third of 366 days?
Man:- 122 (1/3x366 = 122 in days)
Manager:- Do you come to work on weekends?
Man:- No sir
Manager:- How many days are there in a year that are weekends?
Man:- 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days
Manager:- Thanks for that. If you remove 104 days from 122 days, how many
days do you now have?
Man:- 18 days.
Manager:- OK! I do give you 2 weeks sick leave every year. Now remove that14
days from the 18 days left. How many days do you have remaining?
Man:- 4 days
Manager:- Do you work on New Year day?
Man:- No sir!
Manager: - Do you come to work on workers day?
Man:- No sir!
Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- 2 days sir!
Manager:- Do you come to work on the (National holiday )?
Man:- No sir!
Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- 1 day sir!
Manager:- Do you work on Christmas day?
Man:- No sir!
Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- None sir!
Manager:- So, what are you claiming?
Man:- I have understood, Sir. I did not realise that
I was stealing Company money all these days.
Moral - NEVER GO TO HR FOR HELP!!!
HR=HIGH RISK
After 2 years of selfless service, a man realized that he has not been
promoted, no transfer, no salary increase no commendation and that the
Company is not doing any thing about it. So he decided to walk up to his HR
Manager one morning and after exchanging greetings, he told his HR Manager
his observation.The boss looked at him, laughed and asked him to sit down
saying;
My friend, you have not worked here for even one day.
The man was surprised to hear this, but the manager went on to explain.
Manager:- How many days are there in a year?
Man:- 365 days and some times 366
Manager:- how many hours make up a day?
Man:- 24 hours
Manager:- How long do you work in a day?
Man:- 8am to 4pm. i.e. 8 hours a day.
Manager:- So , what fraction of the day do you work in hours?
Man:- (He did some arithmetic and said 8/24 hours i.e. 1/3(one third)
Manager:- That is nice of you! What is one-third of 366 days?
Man:- 122 (1/3x366 = 122 in days)
Manager:- Do you come to work on weekends?
Man:- No sir
Manager:- How many days are there in a year that are weekends?
Man:- 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days
Manager:- Thanks for that. If you remove 104 days from 122 days, how many
days do you now have?
Man:- 18 days.
Manager:- OK! I do give you 2 weeks sick leave every year. Now remove that14
days from the 18 days left. How many days do you have remaining?
Man:- 4 days
Manager:- Do you work on New Year day?
Man:- No sir!
Manager: - Do you come to work on workers day?
Man:- No sir!
Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- 2 days sir!
Manager:- Do you come to work on the (National holiday )?
Man:- No sir!
Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- 1 day sir!
Manager:- Do you work on Christmas day?
Man:- No sir!
Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- None sir!
Manager:- So, what are you claiming?
Man:- I have understood, Sir. I did not realise that
I was stealing Company money all these days.
Moral - NEVER GO TO HR FOR HELP!!!
HR=HIGH RISK
Saturday, February 23, 2008
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