Chinese English?? Don't Play Play (Part 1)

Dare to take Thai Airline???

Boss Vs Me

When I Take a long time to finish,
I am slow,
When my boss takes a long time,
he is thorough


When I don't do it,
I am lazy,
When my boss does not do it,
he is busy,


When I do something without being told,
I am trying to
be smart,
When my boss does the same,
he takes the initiative,


When I please my boss,
I am apple polishing,
When my boss pleases his boss,
he is cooperating,


When I make a mistake,
i am an idiot.
When my boss makes a mistake,
he's only human.


When I am out of the office,
I am wandering around.
When my boss is out of the office,
he's on business.


When I am on a day off sick,
I am always sick.
When my boss is a day off sick,
he must be very ill.


When I apply for leave,
I must be going for an
interview
When my boss applies for leave,
it's because he's
overworked


When I do good,
my boss never remembers,
When I do wrong,
he never forgets

Read Slowly and Enjoy it

Two old friends - a Chinaman and a Malay were having a conversation recently ....

Apek: Lu potong zaka ada bagut ka?

Ali: Manyak bagus. Bila lu potong haa, lu punya barang manyak bersih loo.

Apek: ?!! err ... saya kawan ala cakap, potong zaka aaahh.... manyak ploblem..

Ali: Apa problem?

Apek: Manyak buang lui, lagi aahh ... dia punya performance tadak bagut...
manyak cinang semputloh ...

Ali: Cehh... apek, lu apa cerita... saya suda lama potong. tada apa problem... bini saya manyak puas woo.

Apek: Lu mini puas sama itu potong zaka ka?

Ali: Ya laa. Bila lu potong aahh... lagi sedap main woo. lu lagi lambat pancut..

Apek: ???!!! err... lu punya 1.3 atau 1.5??

Ali: ??!! woi apek cakap baik2 sikit ha ... saya punya 6 inci laa.

Apek: ??! Tiu nia ma... lu jangan main2 haa... mana ada potong zaka 6 inci.

Ali: Cilaka apek ni...nah tengok (opens his trousers)

Apek: Chee sin punya olang.....gua tanya baik2 ... lu tunjuk lu punya lanchiau..

Ali: Abis... lu tada percaya..saya tunjuk la..

Apek: Saya tadak tanya sama lu punya lanchiau. Saya tanya lu pasal itu nasional car... potong zaka. bolo punya olang..

Ali: Aiya... apek... lain kali lu sebut betul2 la....kasi susa saja..Bukan potong zaka la..... proton saga........

How Malaysian do Business?

(1) Korean Man said:"I build 2nd bridge need 300k. 100k for material, 100k for handwork, 100k for profit".
(2) American Man said:" I build 2nd bridge need 600k. 200k for material, American's material DA best, 200k for handwork, American's handwork DA best, 200k for profit, American's living standard high".
(3) Malaysia Man said:"I build 2nd bridge need 900k...". Mr asked:"Why so expensive?"

(4) Malaysian Man answered:"I take 300k, you take 300k, the balance 300k give Korean Man to build the bridge..."

Bus can jump?

When the fuel price is expensive