It's All About Fun, Fun and Fun

Good time VS Economy Downturn (Mandarin Version)

2009-03-09T23:54:00.003+08:00

Multi-use of Shopping Trolley

2009-03-09T23:49:00.002+08:00

Birds Bungy Jump

2009-03-09T23:49:00.001+08:00

Car Equipped with ASTRO

2009-03-09T23:47:00.002+08:00

Funny English

2009-03-09T22:53:00.001+08:00

You might like it. This is hilarious... ..even an Englishman could not construct sentences using numeric, which is exclusive only to Malaysians and Singaporeans.

Ah Lek was asked to make a sentence using 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9,10.

Not only did he do it 1 to 10, he did it again from 10 back to 1. This is what he came up with.....

1 day I go 2 climb a 3 outside a house to peep. But the couple saw me, so I panic and 4 down. The man rushed out and wanted to 5 with me. I ran until I fell 6 and threw up. So I go into 7-eleven and grabbed some 8 to throw at him. Then I took a 9 and try to stab at him. 10 God he run away.

10 I put the 9 back and pay for the 8 and left 7-eleven. Next day I called my boss and told him I was 6. He said 5 , tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work. He also asked me to go climb a 3 and jump down! I don't understand. I am so nice 2 him but I don't know what he 1.

What Make A Malaysian A Malaysian

2008-12-08T15:12:00.000+08:00

You can name all the players from the the English Premier League, but ask you to name one football player from Malaysia , one name also cannot come out.

When StreamyX come, you complain StreamyX too slow. When Maxis Broadband come, you complain Maxis Broadband always disconnects. When WiMax come, you complain Wimax too expensive. In the end, you say StreamyX still the best lah.

When toll price increase, you complain. When petrol price increase, you complain. When you go Starbucks buy RM10 coffee, NO COMPLAINTS.

When you cannot find parking in a shopping mall and have to walk very far, you complain. When you go inside the shopping mall and there's SALE, run from one end of 1Utama to the other also NO COMPLAINTS.

You are always late. And the excuse you give when you're late is always either: (a) traffic jam (b) no transport or (c) cannot find parking.

You have a parent who force you to take science stream in high school, study engineering in Uni, then when you graduate, they ask you to forget everything you learnt in Uni and do commerce.

You know someone who can specially develop an angmoh accent when speaking to a American / British / Australian.

You complain against the government in kopitiam, you talk loud loud. Leave anonymous comments on blogs, you also talk loud loud. Attend ceremah by DAP, you shout loud loud. Then when Opposition organise a protest and ask you to go, you dun wan. Scared later kena tangkap by ISA.

Every year on the 30th April, you are one of the people below queueing up last minute to submit your tax return at the IRB.

When you pay RM10 for something that costs RM1, you blame the Chinese.

When a government service is too slow, you blame the Malays.

When a building is not good and collapsed, you blame the Indians.

When a Chinese student won a scholarship, you say 'Wah! Very clever hor?' When a Malay student won a scholarship, you say 'Aiya! Of course lah! He Malay mah!'

When an angmoh stranger kiss you on the cheek to say hello, you very happy. When a Malaysian guy kiss you on the cheek to say hello, you slap him.

Chinese English?? Don't Play Play (Part 2)

2008-12-08T12:28:00.002+08:00

Chinese English?? Don't Play Play (Part 1)

2008-12-08T12:23:00.002+08:00

Dare to take Thai Airline???

2008-12-08T12:20:00.001+08:00

Boss Vs Me

2008-11-30T15:17:00.001+08:00

When I Take a long time to finish,
I am slow,
When my boss takes a long time,
he is thorough

When I don't do it,
I am lazy,
When my boss does not do it,
he is busy,

When I do something without being told,
I am trying to
be smart,
When my boss does the same,
he takes the initiative,

When I please my boss,
I am apple polishing,
When my boss pleases his boss,
he is cooperating,

When I make a mistake,
i am an idiot.
When my boss makes a mistake,
he's only human.

When I am out of the office,
I am wandering around.
When my boss is out of the office,
he's on business.

When I am on a day off sick,
I am always sick.
When my boss is a day off sick,
he must be very ill.

When I apply for leave,
I must be going for an
interview
When my boss applies for leave,
it's because he's
overworked

When I do good,
my boss never remembers,
When I do wrong,
he never forgets

Read Slowly and Enjoy it

2008-11-30T15:13:00.002+08:00

Two old friends - a Chinaman and a Malay were having a conversation recently ....

Apek: Lu potong zaka ada bagut ka?

Ali: Manyak bagus. Bila lu potong haa, lu punya barang manyak bersih loo.

Apek: ?!! err ... saya kawan ala cakap, potong zaka aaahh.... manyak ploblem..

Ali: Apa problem?

Apek: Manyak buang lui, lagi aahh ... dia punya performance tadak bagut...
manyak cinang semputloh ...

Ali: Cehh... apek, lu apa cerita... saya suda lama potong. tada apa problem... bini saya manyak puas woo.

Apek: Lu mini puas sama itu potong zaka ka?

Ali: Ya laa. Bila lu potong aahh... lagi sedap main woo. lu lagi lambat pancut..

Apek: ???!!! err... lu punya 1.3 atau 1.5??

Ali: ??!! woi apek cakap baik2 sikit ha ... saya punya 6 inci laa.

Apek: ??! Tiu nia ma... lu jangan main2 haa... mana ada potong zaka 6 inci.

Ali: Cilaka apek ni...nah tengok (opens his trousers)

Apek: Chee sin punya olang.....gua tanya baik2 ... lu tunjuk lu punya lanchiau..

Ali: Abis... lu tada percaya..saya tunjuk la..

Apek: Saya tadak tanya sama lu punya lanchiau. Saya tanya lu pasal itu nasional car... potong zaka. bolo punya olang..

Ali: Aiya... apek... lain kali lu sebut betul2 la....kasi susa saja..Bukan potong zaka la..... proton saga........

How Malaysian do Business?

2008-11-30T15:03:00.003+08:00

(1) Korean Man said:"I build 2nd bridge need 300k. 100k for material, 100k for handwork, 100k for profit".
(2) American Man said:" I build 2nd bridge need 600k. 200k for material, American's material DA best, 200k for handwork, American's handwork DA best, 200k for profit, American's living standard high".
(3) Malaysia Man said:"I build 2nd bridge need 900k...". Mr asked:"Why so expensive?"

(4) Malaysian Man answered:"I take 300k, you take 300k, the balance 300k give Korean Man to build the bridge..."

Bus can jump?

2008-11-23T10:44:00.000+08:00

When the fuel price is expensive

2008-11-23T10:43:00.000+08:00

Are they crazy?

2008-11-23T10:40:00.002+08:00

Oldest IT Programmer

2008-11-23T09:53:00.002+08:00

Malaysian English

2008-11-23T09:44:00.002+08:00

Who says our English is teruk.? Just see below - Ours is simple,short,concise, straight-to-point, effective etc.........

WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS
Britons: I'm sorry, Sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you.
Malaysians: No Stock.

RETURNING A CALL
Britons: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone page for me a few moments ago?
Malaysians: Hello, who page?

ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY .
Britons: Excuse me, I'd like to get by. Would you please make way?
Malaysians: S-kew me

WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY
Britons: Hey, put your wallet away, this drink is on me.
Malaysians:No-need, lah.

WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION
Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?
Malaysians: (pointing the door) can ar?

WHEN ENTERTAINING
Britons: Please make yourself right at home.
Malaysians: Don't be shy, lah!

WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE
Britons: I don't recall you giving me the money.
Malaysians: Where got?

WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER
Britons: I'd prefer not to do that, if you don't mind.
Malaysians: Don't want la...

IN DISAGREEING ON A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION
Britons: Err. Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you're
coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the issue.
Malaysians: You mad, ah?

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE.
Britons: Excuse me, but could you please ! lower your voice, I'm trying to concentrate over here.
Malaysians: Shut up lah!

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU.
Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for some time.. Do I know you?
Malaysians: See what, see what?

WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION.
Britons: We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment.
Malaysians: Die-lah!!

WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED
Britons: Will someone tell me what has just happened?
Malaysians: Wat happen Why like that....

WHEN SOME ONE DID SOMETHING WRONG
Britons: This isn't the way to do it here let me show you,
Malaysians: like that also don't know how to do!!!!

WHEN ONE IS ANGRY
Britons: Would you mind not disturbing me
Malaysians:Celaka u

Funny but true!

2008-11-19T23:29:00.002+08:00

Three answers most scared by men, include myself!

1.Whatever
Men: What to have for dinner?
Women: Whatever..
Men: Why not we have steamboat?
Women: Don't want la, eat steamboat later got pimples in my face
Men: Alright, why not we have Si Chuan cuisine
Women: Yesterday ate Si Chuan, today eat again?
Men: Hmm..... I suggest we have seafood
Women: Seafood no good la, later I got diarrhea
Men: Then what you suggest?
Women : Whatever..

2.Anything
Men: So what should we do now?
Women: Anything
Men: How about watching movie? Long time we didn't watch movie
Women: Watching movie no good la, waste time only
Men: How about we play bowling, do some exercises?
Women: Exercise in such hot day? You not feel tire meh?
Men: Then find a cafe and have drink
Women: Drink coffee will affect my sleep
Men: Then what you suggest?
Women: Anything

3.You decide
Men: Then we just go home lo
Women: You decide
Men: Let take bus, I will accompany you
Women: Bus is dirty and crowded. Don't want la
Men: Ok we will take Taxi
Women: Not worth it la... for such a short distance
Men: Alright, then we walk lo. Take a slow walk
Women: What to walk with empty stomach woh?
Men: Then what you suggest?
Women: You decide
Men: Let's have dinner first
Women: Whatever...
Men: Eat what?
Women: Anyting
(Look around... no one here, gonna kill her....)

Do you believe these are theToilet signs?

2008-11-19T23:25:00.002+08:00

Can you differentiate which one is for male and which one is for female? Sure you can :)

Me and My Boss

2008-08-11T23:24:00.001+08:00

When I Take a long time to finish, I am slow,
When my boss takes a long time, he is thorough

When I don't do it, I am lazy,
When my boss does not do it, he is busy,

When I do something without being told, I am trying to be smart,
When my boss does the same, he takes the initiative,

When I please my boss, I am apple polishing,
When my boss pleases his boss, he is cooperating,

When I make a mistake, I' am an idiot.
When my boss makes a mistake, he's only human.

When I am out of the office, I am wondering around.
When my boss is out of the office, he's on business.

When I am on a day off sick, I am always sick.
When my boss is a day off sick, he must be very ill.

When I apply for leave, I must be going for an interview
When my boss applies for leave, it's because he's overworked

When I do good, my boss never remembers,
When I do wrong, he never forgets

Chinese Names - Annie Wan (Anyone)

2008-08-11T23:17:00.003+08:00

Caller: Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan? (Anyone)

Operator: Yes, you can speak to me.

Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan!

Operator: You are talking to someone! Who is this?

Caller: I'm Sam Wan (someone) and I need to talk to Annie Wan! It's urgent.

Operator: I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what's
this urgent matter about?

Caller: Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother Noel Wan (no one) was involved in an accident. Noel Wan got injured and now Noel Wan is being
sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan is on his way to the hospital.

Operator: Look if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't
have time for this!

Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?

Operator: I'm Saw Lee. (Sorry)

Caller: Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!!

What is a PERFECT wife?

2008-08-11T23:06:00.001+08:00

A perfect wife is someone who doesn't need anyone to make her happy, but needs you to make her feel complete.

Cakes for divorce?

2008-08-03T22:28:00.001+08:00

You're Always by my side

2008-08-03T22:21:00.000+08:00

A very 'touching' story titled...."You're Always By My Side"

A man was walking across the road when he met with an accident. The impact was on his head which caused him to be in a coma for 2 days. When he opened his eyes, his wife was by his side.

He told her (in tears), "When I was struggling with my studies in the University, I failed again and again. Sometimes I even have to re-take my papers. You were there by my side, encouraging me to go on trying."

She squeezed his hands as he continued, "When I went for major interviews and failed to clinch any of the jobs, you were there, cutting out the job ads for me to apply..."

He added, " ...then I started working in this little firm and finally got a big contract. I blew it because of a small mistake. But you are still there for me." His wife was in tears.

The man said, "I finally got a job after being laid off for quite some time. But I never seem to be promoted and my hard work was not recognised.

I remained in the same position from the day I joined the company till now. You are still beside me..."

His wife's tears trickled down as she listened to him, "And now I met with an accident and when I woke up, you are here with me. There's something I'll really like to say to you..." She flung herself on the bed and hug her husband, sobbing with deep emotion.

Finally her husband said: "I think you bring me bad luck."

Made in Malaysia

2008-08-03T21:48:00.002+08:00

Only Malaysian will laugh on this!!

PLUS : Pay Lebih Untuk Sami (=Pay more for Mr.Sami)

KTM : Keretapi Taktau Masa (=Train without schedule)

JKR : Jangan Kerja Rajin (=Don't work hard)

PLKN : Perempuan Letup Kerana Najib (=Woman bombed due to Najib)

DBKL : Datuk Badawi Kahwin Lagi (=Datuk Badawi marry again)

RTM : Rehat Tunggu Mati (=Rest Until Die)

BN : Barang Naik (=Product Price Hike)

TNB : Tunggu, Nanti Buat (=Wait, do later)

MEN NEVER LISTEN, DO THEY?

2008-08-03T21:44:00.001+08:00

He did what he needed to, and as he sat there he noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch. Each button was identified by letters: WW, WA, PP, and a red one labeled ATR. Who would know if he touched them? He couldn't resist. He pushed WW. Warm Water was sprayed gently upon his bottom. What a nice feeling, he thought. Men's restrooms don't have nice things like this.

Anticipating greater pleasure, he pushed the WA button. Warm air replaced the warm water, gently drying his underside. When this stopped, he pushed the PP button. A large powder puff caressed his bottom adding a fragile scent of spring flower to this unbelievable pleasure. The ladies restroom was more than a restroom, it is tender loving pleasure.

When the powder puff completed its pleasure, he couldn't wait to push the ATR button which he knew would be supreme ecstasy. He was immediately knocked out by an excruciating pain.

Next thing he knew he opened his eyes, he was in a hospital bed, and a nurse was staring down at him. "What happened?" he exclaimed. "The last thing I remember was pushing the ATR button."

"The button ATR is an Automatic Tampon Remover. Your testicles are now in this jar, sir."

Singapore Jokes

2008-05-22T23:43:00.000+08:00

Teacher: Ah Kau, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how
much would your father still have?
Ah Kau: $10.
Teacher: You don't know Maths.
Ah Kau: You don't know my father la!

Mother: David, come here.
David: Yes, mum.
Mother: You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse.
David: But but but....I will only get my report card tomorrow ???
Mother: I know that, but I'm going Hong Kong tomorrow so I'm scolding you
now.

Father: Why did you fail your Mathematics Test?
Son: On Monday, teacher said 3 + 5 = 8
Father: So?
Son: On Tuesday, she said 4 + 4 = 8.
On Wednesday, she said 6 + 2 = 8.
If she can't make up her mind, how I know the right answer one ???

Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: Yes Dear.
Girl: Would you die for me?
Boy: No la, mine is undying love only !!!

Man: How old is your father?
Boy: Same as me la.
Man: How can that be?
Boy: He only became a father when I born lo !!!

Teacher: Simon, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as
your brother's. Did you copy his?
Simon: No la, teacher. It's the same dog!

Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!
Son: That's why I tell you she's no good!

Teacher: Where were you born?
Student: Singapore , Sir.
Teacher: Which part?
Student: All of me ma....

A boy came home from school with his exam results.
" What did you get?" asked his father.
" My marks are under water," said the boy.
" What do you mean 'under water'?"
" They are all below 'C' (sea) level !"

2 FREE tickets to Bejing Olympic 2008 to be won!

2008-05-22T23:32:00.004+08:00

Recently found that there is a competition allow you to win "2 TICKETS AND ALL EXPENSES PAID INCLUDING AIR FARE TO THE 2008 OLYMPIC GAMES IN BEIJING, CHINA". Actually is very easy to participate. Just view the given photo and correctly answer the following questions and send to International Olympic Committee, Private Bag, Lausanne , Switzerland:

1. Which student seems to appear tired / sleepy?
2. Which ones are male twins?
3. Which ones are the female twins?
4. How many women are in the group?
5. Which one is the teacher?
6. Which two just finished a joint?

Haha........i don't think you manage to answer all question. Either pay on your own expenses or don't go at all.

NEVER LIE TO A WOMAN!

2008-05-22T23:17:00.004+08:00

A man called home to his wife and said, "Honey I have been asked to go fishing up in Canada with my boss & several of his Friends.

We'll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that Promotion I'v been wanting, so could you please pack enough Clothes for a week and set out my rod and fishing box, we're Leaving From the office & I will swing by the house to pick my things up" "Oh! Please pack my new blue silk pajamas."

The wife thinks this sounds a bit fishy but being the good wife she is, did exactly what her husband asked.

The following Weekend he came home a little tired but otherwise looking good.

The wife welcomed him home and asked if he caught many fish?

He said, "Yes! Lots of Salmon, some Bluegill, and a few Swordfish. But why didn't you pack my new blue silk pajamas like I asked you to Do?"

You'll love the answer...

The wife replied, "I did. They're in your fishing box....."

Jokes for everyone

2008-03-10T21:40:00.004+08:00

The following jokes is dedicated for those know Malaysia to laugh...

To increase own reputation, Sami Vellu produces a setem with own face and sell it. After one month, he goes to check its sales performance.

He asks chief office of Post Office: "How is the sales?"
Chief: "The sales not bad, but people always complaint the setem cannot be sticked."
Sami: "How come?" He tried it and the setem can be sticked firmly on the envelope.
Chief says: "But everyone spit the saliva on the front page!"

All the World Famous Men in a single artwork. Fabulous!!

2008-03-10T21:24:00.003+08:00

Recently grabbed this artwork online and found that it really fantastic! The artist can draw many world famous men in a single artwork.

I can see:

Pele (Brazil Football star)
Einstein (Scientist)
Shih Huang Ti (King of Emperor Chin, China)
etc.

Even Osama bin Laden also have!!!

How about you? Who do you see?

Time to .... De-stress.........?

2008-02-29T22:55:00.000+08:00

There is a very , very tall coconut tree, and there are 4 animals:

King Kong, Ape, Orangutang and a Monkey pass by.

They have a competition to see Who is the fastest to get the banana. Who
do you guess will win?

Your answer will reflect your personality. Try and answer within 30
seconds

Got your answer? Scroll down to see the analysis.

If your answer is ....

Orangutan = dull

Ape = foolish

Monkey = idiot

King Kong = stupid

Why ?????
Coconut tree, doesn't have bananas .........??

It's obvious you're stressed by your work. Go home earlier today!

Will you marry me?

2008-02-27T23:14:00.003+08:00

30 ways to know if u're a Chinese

2008-02-26T23:44:00.002+08:00

This is a good one....although i must say "SOME" are not true....but 95% of them are.

Enjoy!

1. You unwrap gifts very carefully, so you can save and reuse the wrapping (and especially those ribbons)

2. When there is a sale on toilet paper, you buy 100 rolls and store them in your closet or in the bedroom of an adult child who has move out.

3. You keep a Thermos of hot water available at all times.

4. You save grocery bags, tin foil, and tin containers. You use the grocery bags to hold garbage.

5. You hate to waste food. Even if you're totally full, if someone says they're going to throw away the leftovers on the table, you'll finish them. (Your mom will lecture about starving kids in Africa). You have Tupperware in your fridge with three bites of rice or one leftover chicken wing.

6. You don't own any real Tupperware-only a cupboard full of used but carefully rinsed margarine tubs, take out containers, and jam jars.

7. You have a collection of miniature shampoo bottles that you take every time you stay in a hotel.

8. You wipe your plate and utensils or wash them in a small basin of hot water before you eat every time you go to a restaurant.

9. You own a rice cooker and a slow cooker.

10. You wash your rice at least 2-3 times before cooking it.

11. You fight (literally) over who pays the dinner bill.

12. You have a teacup with a cover on it.

13. If you're under age 20, you own a really expensive walkman/discman, if you're over 20, you own a really expensive camera.

14. You're a wok user.

15. You only make long distance calls after 7pm.

16. You prefer your shrimp with the heads and legs still attached – it means they're fresh.

17. You never call your parents just to say hi.

18. If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they'll ask if you've eaten, even if it's midnight.

19. Your parents tell you to boil herbs and stay inside when you get sick.
They also tell you not to eat fried foods or baked foods because they're heaty (yeet hay in Cantonese).

20. You e-mail your Chinese friends at work, even though you only sit 10 feet apart.

21. You always cook too much.

22. You eat every last grain of rice in your bowl, but don't eat the last piece of food on the table.

23. You starve yourself before going to all you can eat buffet.

24. You know someone who can get you a good deal on jewellery or electronics, computers.

25. You own your own meat cleaver and sharpen it.

26. Your toothpaste tubes are all squeezed paper-thin.

27. You wrap with napkins all the knives, spoons and forks of the airline that you fly on and put in your travel bag as souvenirs

28. You never forget to take with you all the unused bath and facial tissues when you check out from the hotel because you believe that you have paid its all.

29. You will laugh at yourself when you read all of them

30. And you will always proud because you're Chinese!

True? Haha...

Japanese Tennis Girl

2008-02-26T00:31:00.000+08:00

I believe every man want to play tennis with her...

Superboobs

2008-02-26T00:27:00.001+08:00

Wah...........really superboobs, able to control bouncing :P

Oscars - Who Gives a Rats Ass

2008-02-26T00:17:00.001+08:00

Ratatouille Oscar

2008-02-26T00:16:00.002+08:00

Nice cup. Every man also wanna hold it...

2008-02-24T16:02:00.005+08:00

Duck says: it ' s my turn now......

2008-02-24T15:58:00.003+08:00

This bicycle must be worth a million

2008-02-24T15:54:00.002+08:00

Beware this when bathing!

2008-02-24T15:43:00.003+08:00

Jokes: 911

2008-02-24T01:25:00.003+08:00

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.
Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why?

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller: Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich .
Dispatcher: Excuse me?
Caller: I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it.
Dispatcher: Was anything else taken?
Caller: No, but this has happened to me before and I'm sick and tired of it!

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?
Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it.
Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one
Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.
Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of your emergency?
Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart
Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!

Dispatcher: 9-1-1
Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath. Darn....I think I'm going to pass out.
Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster.
Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
Caller: No
Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?
Caller: Running from the Police.

Jokes: Never go to HR department for help!!

2008-02-24T01:16:00.002+08:00

HAHAHA......please read this, really funny!

After 2 years of selfless service, a man realized that he has not been
promoted, no transfer, no salary increase no commendation and that the
Company is not doing any thing about it. So he decided to walk up to his HR
Manager one morning and after exchanging greetings, he told his HR Manager
his observation.The boss looked at him, laughed and asked him to sit down
saying;

My friend, you have not worked here for even one day.
The man was surprised to hear this, but the manager went on to explain.

Manager:- How many days are there in a year?
Man:- 365 days and some times 366

Manager:- how many hours make up a day?
Man:- 24 hours

Manager:- How long do you work in a day?
Man:- 8am to 4pm. i.e. 8 hours a day.
Manager:- So , what fraction of the day do you work in hours?
Man:- (He did some arithmetic and said 8/24 hours i.e. 1/3(one third)

Manager:- That is nice of you! What is one-third of 366 days?
Man:- 122 (1/3x366 = 122 in days)

Manager:- Do you come to work on weekends?
Man:- No sir

Manager:- How many days are there in a year that are weekends?
Man:- 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days

Manager:- Thanks for that. If you remove 104 days from 122 days, how many
days do you now have?
Man:- 18 days.

Manager:- OK! I do give you 2 weeks sick leave every year. Now remove that14
days from the 18 days left. How many days do you have remaining?
Man:- 4 days

Manager:- Do you work on New Year day?
Man:- No sir!
Manager: - Do you come to work on workers day?
Man:- No sir!

Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- 2 days sir!

Manager:- Do you come to work on the (National holiday )?
Man:- No sir!

Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- 1 day sir!

Manager:- Do you work on Christmas day?
Man:- No sir!

Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- None sir!

Manager:- So, what are you claiming?
Man:- I have understood, Sir. I did not realise that
I was stealing Company money all these days.

Moral - NEVER GO TO HR FOR HELP!!!
HR=HIGH RISK

RK house No PORK!! - Maple Story version

2008-02-24T01:13:00.000+08:00

Before and After (Well-Known Artist)

2008-02-23T23:40:00.011+08:00